Why isn’t he texting me?

Why isn’t he texting me??? I haven’t heard from Bones in 3 days. I know that he’s a shy/sincere sort of man and he’s busier than your average busy person, and I know that we have plans for this upcoming weekend, and I know that he has a friend from out of town staying with him right now, but I’m a little unnerved. Maybe just one little message to indicate that he’s thinking about me…? I initiated the last conversation, so it’s his turn. I’m a catch…so why isn’t he trying to catch me?? Throw a stupid net in the water, man! Doesn’t he realize I get a new online dating request EVERY DAY and that I could slip from between his fingers in a moment?? To spite him, I just drank a can of cider alone in my living room while replying to all of the men I’ve  received online dating messages from in the last 3 weeks (and ignored because I’ve been obsessing over Bones). They were all unattractive underachievers. I wish I weren’t so convinced that Bones was perfect for me.

Am I so desperate to be in love and married that I’m not making rational dating decisions? Does a man need to be immediately obsessed with me for it to be right? Or could this be a more real and measured relationship? Could this be what it’s like dating a real adult? It’s not like we haven’t had a great time together. It’s not like we haven’t made plans to get together again. He invited me to come out with his friends – I feel like that shows some confidence in me. I wish there were a rule book – this ambiguity is exhausting.

My friend, Elle, has a rule. Her rule is that until you have a discussion about being monogamous, you should always be dating 3 men at once. You don’t have to be head over heels in love with all of them, but you have to at least like them and enjoy spending time together. She read this in a book and thinks it allows you to keep perspective and not act like a crazy person. I am the case in point. I think I need to go on some other dates.

But it feels like cheating because I’m so obsessed with this man. I have already planned our future together and I feel guilty going on other dates when I’ve already identified Bones as the future father of my children. Listen – I’m writing this a little tongue in cheek; it’s for your amusement. I know that I’m getting very much ahead of myself. But to say I haven’t imagined the white picket fence with this guy would be a lie.

So rather than going on other dates (which for such a monogamist feels like cheating) I will regale you with the tales of some previous dates that have gone awry. I have been saving them up for the right moment, and I think this is it.